Of course my heart melted and my eyes filled with tears because my heart's desire is for Him to want this for as long as he lives, and for that wanting to grow and grow as he gets older and knows Christ. I told him that we'd go to heaven but not now. I told him that heaven is wonderful because that's where Jesus is and when we get there we can worship, play with, sing and love Him forever. To this Cooper responded "I want to play my drums for Jesus." Again, heart swell and tears well. About that time the cookies were done and we moved on to other things, but that conversation has stuck with me.
And since I've began my Bible studies and have been digging deeper into the Word daily, the longing has grown and grown inside me. I'm ready to go now. I want Jesus to come back now so we can be with Him forever! As I study about Him more I long to see His face, to look into the compassionate eyes that always saw into the depths of man and never looked away from a hurting soul, to hold the hands that healed so many and are reaching out waiting for more to come to Him, to hear the voice that calmed the storm, cast out demons, instructed disciples, prayed to the Father and calls to me in my soul, to lean on the shoulder that held the weight of the world's sin and conquered it, to see His smile when He sees me because He knows I love Him above all else.
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ." Philippians 3:7-8
The world is such a tricky place. It can so easily entangle me and distract me from Him. I've heard before that satan isn't worried about convincing us that God doesn't exist, he just wants to keep us so distracted with our earthly lives, pleasures, pursuits, anxieties, that we don't put Him first and don't pursue a relationship with Jesus. I think this is the most clear to us when we are pursuing Jesus. Lately it seems that the inward battle in my soul is at a high point.
On the one hand I want a big house someday with land and a nice car and enough money to entertain people regularly and enough to go on vacations. I want to be free to have fun and pursue my dreams and interests and just relax for a little while from this 'Jesus thing' so I can forget about that Kingdom agenda and focus on mine and not worry about what I listen to or what I watch or how I interact with people. I want to spend money on expensive restaurants and clothes and be 'cool' (Though I know I'm not cool or designer savvy so I might be ok on that last one).
But then there's another hand, Jesus's hand, that has reached out and touched my heart so that I have to stop and think about things again, and think about whose kingdom I'm serving, and adjust my wants to make sure I'm not serving myself. Don't get me wrong here, I am so blessed, much more than millions of people around the world and many here in America! I am not living a hard life, and I'm not saying that I don't have a fun life. I love my life, have plenty of fun and even just got back from a vacation. So I'm not complaining or trying to play the poor Christian. I'm just saying that at the bottom line of it all I'm having to decide which kingdom to serve and which agenda to pursue now and in the future. And I feel that this choosing will only get more difficult and easy at the same time. The more I let go of my selfish dreams and plans and let God take over, the easier it is to love what I have and be excited for what is to come. The less I want what the world says is cool or in style. It's also more difficult because I'm realizing just how radical we're called to be for Christ and once you know the truth you can't turn your back on it and pretend like you aren't informed…you have to choose to follow it. Francis Chan had a great illustration about this battle of the world: if a person was on a desert island and read the NT then came to America, how would that person live and what would that person think of Christians here? Basically, am I truly living like the NT says to live.
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me…What good is it for a man to gain the while world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:23,25
So only now am I beginning to get a glimpse of why the writers of the New Testament and the many famous Christians before me have longed for heaven, have hated this world, have sought to do Jesus's work so that they can get to the glory of Him in person. When you are living as a friend of the world there's no reason to long for Jesus; what more could you have? Why go to heaven to sing to and worship Jesus all day? But when you are living in love with Jesus, there's no reason not to long for Him. There's nothing you wouldn't do to get nearer to Him. There's only one focus for you….to get to Him and help as many people do the same on your way.
"But our citezenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body." Philippians 3:20-21
I've told Mom before that I'm ready for Jesus to come back. She replied that as great as that is, it's kinda selfish because when He comes it will be a great day but also a very very sad day. It will be the day that everyone acknowledges Him and all eyes are opened…..but so many will be eternally condemned. So, even though I can't stop…and don't want to stop….my longing to be with Jesus, I can do what so many before me have done. I need to get as many on board the life saving raft called Jesus as I can in my life. I have to get out there and get the word out, I have to help anyone who needs me, I have to actually DO something, not just wish something was getting done. This starts with my home, my children, my church, my town….
Heaven is going to be wonderful, not because all hurt and pain will be gone, not because I'll get to see Grandma Myrna (even though that will be great), not because it's beautiful and has streets of gold, not because I'll finally get answers to all those questions I have about the Bible (what did Jesus write in the sand?) but because JESUS will be there. Because I'll get to see God in His infinite glory.
Are you longing for heaven? If not, get in the Word and get to know Jesus! You don't know what you're missing.
"Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothes with our heavenly dwelling….we are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord." 2 Corinthians 5:2,8
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