Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Me Moments Gone Wrong

    Life here in the crazy house can get pretty hectic. So hectic in fact, that showers for me have become a luxury as much as a necessity. Now getting my hair washed and legs shaved, that's in a whole other category and definitely not a daily occurrence. So the other day when supper was finished, the house was picked up (I would say clean, but picked up is the more accurate description of my house these days) and all the boys were outside with Dalton I thought it was the perfect time to sneak off and have a  long shower…..the stand under the water and relax kind, not just jump in and wash off while a boy or two is banging on the door. Somehow it's not easy to relax and 'wash the day's cares away' when you hear crying and chaos on the other side of the door and you know that your presence can help end it, ha!
    Notice I said sneak off to the shower…..is this common to all moms or are my kids just extra clingy? In any case I joyously headed to the bathroom, careful not to be seen through the doors or windows, lest they follow. My life is a lot like a spy game, without the cool gadgets and foreign travel. There is a lot of sneaking, tiptoeing, looking to see what others are doing without being seen, and clandestine activity in the dead of night.
   I made it to the shower and hopped in. The window by the shower was open so I could hear the boys playing outside. Ahh, wonderful sounds I thought as I washed my hair thoroughly, and decided to shave my legs. Then I heard a cry of outrage outside…not a hurt cry, but one of 'he took my toy' or 'he isn't being nice'. I pushed it away, knowing Dalton would handle it. Then no more than a minute later Cooper bursts through the bathroom door…."mommy, Ace is being mean. He took (insert machine here) and won't give it back." My boys are pretty good spies too, did I mention that? They can find me in no time. I poked my head out and told him to stop whining and go talk to Dad about it. Where was dad anyway?? After a stern warning to leave, he left and shut the door. Back to my shower.
    I was halfway finished shaving my second leg, with conditioner still in my hair, when the middle one burst in. I know what you're thinking…why didn't I lock the door…well seeing as how I thought they'd all be outside I didn't think it would be necessary. Lesson learned. He toodled on up to the shower (yes, he toodles everywhere he goes.). "Mommy, what are you doing?" (Um, showering, duh).
Me-"Taking a shower, now go back outside."
 "I wanna take a shower."
"Not now, please go back outside."
"But I wanna take a shower. I'm done outside." (at this point I start wavering…it would be nice to get them showered before 9 o'clock)
"Ok, take your diaper off and hop in." (I hear the sound of diaper velcro coming undone and then….a smell fills the steamy bathroom….a dirty diaper smell.)
"No!! Don't take it off, just a second…..oh no you already have it off….don't touch….hurry and get in" I get out of the shower to wrap up the diaper so that we are not completely suffocated by the smell, dripping on the rug with one smooth leg and one hairy one.
I put Ace into the shower and then get back in. Now for those of you who are offended at the thought of me showering with my two year old, either you've never had kids, definitely not had 3 kids 4 and under, or don't value being clean. I only had two choices: a) let him in and finish showering myself or b) get out with ratty hair. Obviously for me the choice was a.
So I finished my shower, helped him get clean, got out and put my comfys on and then helped Ace get out and dressed.
Moral of the story? Lock the door when you take a shower, even if the littles are not on the property.

 These guys….love 'em so much! Riding in Daddy's 'heavy chevy'
(Cooper fixed my hair in this picture and said I had to wear it all the way to town.)

    The next day there was a shower (of a different kind) for Merann and Jud, to celebrate their upcoming wedding. I was excited to get spiffed up and go, getting to be just Dalton and Gabby instead of mothering the entire night (not that I mind mothering…I love my littles) and hearing "you have your hands full" from everyone that I pass. Not sure if I give out a look of desperation when I'm around others or if the three boys bouncing around is what prompts that constant statement.
    My brows were pretty bushy and I had seen some clearance shoes that I wanted in town, so I asked Dalton if I could go run a few errands (after the house was cleaned properly of course….at least I didn't have to wait until nap time like I usually do). He said yes so I headed in for a little me time. Things were going great, I got the shoes for $12, picked up a gift for the couple and then headed to the nail place for my brow wax.
    This may sound strange but I like getting my brows waxed. The pain is fleeting and they usually rub all around my eyebrows as their looking and plucking, which is relaxing to me (weird I know…I really don't get out much do I, haha). As I walked into the waxing room the lady said "You want your lip waxed too or just your brows?"
What? My lip? Does it need to be waxed? I hope not. Surely she just asks everyone that when they come in, right? She hasn't even gotten close enough to see if my lip is hairy or not. What?
"No thank you, just my brows please." I run my fingers over my lip as I move to the chair.
I laid back and readied myself for the beautification. Then the girl (not my usual one) dropped some wax onto my eyebrow/lid - hot wax - and I blinked in reaction, spreading it all over my eyelid. She panicked and I tried to stay calm as the burning sensation subsided. She frantically tried to get the wax off of my lid and eyelashes and pressed harder and harder as she wiped, while repeatedly saying some apology in half English half Vietnemese (or a similar language). I kept trying to reassure her, all the while feeling like she was taking all of my eyelashes off with each wipe. Finally the wax was removed and she finished the job. She kept telling me something about being sorry and I thought she was trying to tell me no charge (I was wrong about that). I kept saying "It's ok, not a problem. I'm fine," while picturing myself with lashes on only one eye.
    Then, when she finished with my brows she got some sweet smelling lotion and started massaging it into my face and temples and hairline. I kept still on the outside because I didn't want her to feel bad but inside I was screaming….. You see I've had some problems with excema on my face, specifically my temples, and when foreign lotions with scents (especially cheap ones like I'm sure she was using) make contact with it, it will cause a big flare up that involves blotchy swollen patches of skin that get weepy and awful. So you can imagine my horror as she massaged this foreign, smelly lotion deep into my temples. Ahhhhh. And then she'd get it right up to and into the hairline which was another stresser because I had just spent an hour drying and straightening my hair. Now it was getting all greased up by the brow lady because she felt bad for burning my lid. When the torture was over I left, paid and went to my car to inspect the damage. I could see myself at the shower that night….greasy hair, red swollen temples, and an eyelash-less eye. But thankfully it all worked out. Aside from a red blotch on my eyelid there was no permanent damage. And as soon as I got home I put some steroid cream on my temples to keep it from flaring.
   I laughed all the way home. This is so typical me and things like this happen all the time. Especially when I'm trying to be cool and trendy. Like when I bought this super cute dress at TJ Max and wore it to church. I felt so stylish and strutted in to find a seat. About a minute later a girl (that I don't know) comes up to inform me that my price tag was still on the dress. Awesome. Then I was in my hometown at the grocery store and somehow dumped all of my change out in the parking lot and had to pick it all up while everyone drove by. Oh I'm sure there's so many more instances I could think of just in the last month, but I won't.

 Maybe I did need my lip waxed. ; ) Everyone tried on mustaches from 
Merann and Jud's fiesta the night before. 


   So this is my life. Constant goofiness, sticky situations, rare alone time and many many opportunities for writing material and laughs. 


"A happy heart makes the face cheerful but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13

"How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you." Psalm 31:19

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