"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
The temperatures are climbing and the sun is shining which means one thing...summer is fast approaching. I'm not looking forward to the many many 100 degree days which usually plague us each year but I am glad to feel the sunny warmth after so many late cold spells.
However, with this warm weather and sunny season comes my least favorite side effect...a major lack of modesty. When we went to visit Garrett last weekend I was reminded of this as we headed to the lake and saw bikini clad women and young girls parading around, as well as many dressed in short shorts and baring tank tops. I cringed, me leaning to the overmodest side of things, and tried to prepare myself for the upcoming barrage of immodesty heading my, and my family's way.
I'm going to be honest here, it makes me crazy, all of this immodesty. Why? Because I am married to a man and I'm raising two boys. We can't even watch TV anymore, besides Nick Jr, Food Network and Cosby Show because of all of the sex they are portraying, hinting at or just plain trying to get you to focus on. Our culture is obsessed with it and if you don't play along into the immodest, immoral and 'ok with everything' lifestyle then you are a minority that has to work really hard to protect your family. And it's not enough to have to guard my family from TV shows and commercials, this time of year I have to deal with it in my own 'real life.'
"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your Word." Psalm 119:37
"Flee from sexual immorality." 1 Corinthians 6:18
Now I know that I can't do anything about the non-Christians out there who don't know any better but to attract men any way that they can. They don't realize that our bodies are temples of the living God and we reflect Him in all that we do, say and wear. And to them, the culture says that the more skin you show and the more looks and second looks you get the more feminine and attractive you are. Unfortunately they have bought this lie and are, along with the men out there taking those looks, leading themselves down a very unholy and devastating road. So I know that I can't shield my boys from all of this. For those, all I can do is pray and share the love and truth of Christ and set a good example.
"He said to them, Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." Mark 16:15
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16
But one thing I can do is to encourage all of the Christian women I know to be modest in all we wear! The fashions these days are tight, short and show all. Lengths of skirts, shorts and dresses are not modest and necklines of many tops are less than appropriate. I know because I've gone out shopping and have had difficulty myself. Of course I have a major advantage that some people don't. I'm chubby so it's not even a real temptation to wear short things because I don't want to show my legs off anyway!
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
I know that we want to be attractive, but God's idea of attractive is having a pure heart, a loving spirit and a heart, soul, mind and body that longs for and seeks after Him. When we are doing those things, we are being the beautiful women that God wants us to be. And in particular, if we are married, we should not desire to attract other mens' attention with fancy, fashionable immodest clothing. The last thing that we want our friends and colleagues doing is trying to woo our husband's attention away from us, so why would we do that to them? Our husbands, because they are our husbands, are even more honored when we don't show everything off to anyone who will look, but rather save ourselves for them.
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for god will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4
So this brings me to the biggest hurdle that I face every summer: bikinis. I just don't understand them, and especially don't understand how Christian women can embrace them. I honestly think that it's something that families just don't address anymore. Instead of having a real heart to heart talk with daughters explaining why bikinis are probably not the best choice, parents just let it pass as something that's not a big deal. It's just a swimsuit and everyone has one on so what's the big deal. Unfortunately I think this is a grave mistake. I'll confess, I'm not as personally affected by this issue because I was raised very modest. We wore one pieces, often with shorts over them. It just wasn't even an option to think of wearing a bikini. Honestly, I couldn't imagine walking around in front of my family and parents in what amounted to a bra and panties. Of course, once again my chubbiness helped me out in this. There was a brief time period, right after I got engaged, that I did attempt a two piece. I was pretty thin, Dalton was tired of being the only guy at the lake whose girlfriend wore a one piece, and I thought I could handle it. Let me tell you that was the most uncomfortable summer for me. I would wait until the last minute to take off my cover up, slip into the water as quickly as possible and then have a towel strategically waiting so I wouldn't have to see anybody when I got out. Then on our honeymoon I wore a bikini a few times, with just about the same feeling.
When we got back, however, the honeymoon was over and those were replaced by my modest swimsuits. I could enjoy the water again. I'm not telling you that to make me look good and bikini wearers look bad...not at all. I'm just letting you know what a difference it makes when you are brought up with a modest mindset, you just never have to deal with those issues (in case you have a daughter).
"For everything in the world -- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away but the man who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:1-17
And now I'm very pleased to be surrounded by friends who have the same view on swimwear as I do. Women who want to be modest and whom I can feel comfortable being modest around. It's also greatly helped any water fun we've had as families. I don't have to feel icky about my husband being around many bikini clad women and other women don't have to feel the same way about me. We are able to truly have a fun time.
"You my brothers were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
So why do I have an issue with immodesty and bikinis? Well, there are a few reasons that I think are scripturally based.
1. Immodest clothing and bikinis foster lust. I know, I know, you can lust after someone dressed head to toe in sweats, but the temptation is greater when you are revealing more and more of yourself to those around you.
"You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery, but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28
"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Romans 13:14
2. Immodest clothing says to the world that Christians are no different than the rest of culture and value physical attractiveness and attention just as much or more than inward beauty.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2
3. Immodest clothing can cause others to sin.
"But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is dragged away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown gives birth to death." James 1:14-15
"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to hi as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master because you are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:12-14
"If anyone causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6
4. The Bible says that women are to dress modestly...not in a burlap sack sort of way, but in a God-honoring way. And trust me, you can be beautiful without being immodest! I know some very beautiful women who dress modestly.
"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." 1 Timothy 2:9-10
5. Dressing immodestly presents an image of you that implies that you are ok with more physical attraction and even what that implies in physical action. Dressing immodestly and being pure cannot co-exist.
"But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written 'Be holy because I am holy'." 1 Peter 1:15-16
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2
If this comes across as a little harsh I think it's only because I'm just starting to realize the challenge of raising boys in this awful culture that we live in. Boys and men have to deal with more physical temptation. They are just hard-wired that way. And to think that my boys are going to have to deal with immodesty from Christian women and young girls just doesn't sit right with me. (For the record, I'm also anti-speedos and tight skinny jeans on men, so this isn't a one-gender issue).
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that is in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him...." 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
So I ask you, Christian, does your wardrobe, summer, winter and swimwear attract men to the physical and detract from the inner beauty, or are you working to see that you present a holy temple to God through each thing you put on? And Christian parents, are you involved in your children's wardrobes, not telling them what to wear and what not to wear, but actively explaining why modest clothing is best and why God commands us to be pure and holy? Christian women, are you mentoring and discipling those younger generations and encouraging them to dress modestly and stay pure? Are we, as Christian women, helping other women to win this battle of modesty by lovingly addressing this in our churches? Christian men, are you distancing yourselves from immodesty in culture and encouraging/thanking your wives for their obedience to Christ in this area?
"For we do not have a high priest that is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way just as we are -- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16
I really think that we are in a time when Christianity is becoming so at odds with the culture that drastic changes are necessary. I truly see that lines are being drawn and what the Bible says regarding Christians and the world is true.
"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." John 17:15-18
"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." 1 John 2:15
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2
I urge you to pray about this and ask God to reveal to you His truth, which transcends all cultural ideals and my opinionated words. If we seek Him and His truth, He will reveal to us what we need to know.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Matthew 5:8
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things." Philippians 4:8
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