Righteous Jealousy

     Intriguing title, I know. First, let me just ask, is there such a thing as righteous jealousy, or is all jealousy sin? Not sure on that one, so in blissful ignorance I'm going to discuss my feelings of righteous jealousy lately.
     I have an amazing life. I'm truly blessed on all fronts: family, needs being met, wants being met, dreams being met, friendships, church family, etc. I could drone on and on about how much that I have to be thankful for, but this is July, not November, and my post is about jealousy, not thankfulness. So what does someone who's as blessed as I am have to be jealous of. Well, I'll tell you.
     Our church supports several missionaries around the world, and one particular family is actually from GBC. It's a family with three kids (two of whom are around my boys' ages). They were heading out of the church to go train for missions as we were really getting plugged in, so I didn't get the chance to know them very well. However, I follow them on facebook. It's been a blessing to hear about their adventures, struggles and daily life as Christian missionaries in a Muslim country. Anytime I feel discontent about my situation here all I have to do is go to their page and realize how blessed I am....and that's what got me to thinking. Am I the blessed one, or are they? They have to totally rely on God for their safety, needs, emotional and spiritual well-being, and mission success.  They have no other options, so when things get tough they get more intimate with God and His Word to find hope, answers and guidance. And that's what I'm jealous of...the total dependence on God and nothing else.

"So do not worry, saying, 'what shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or 'What shall we wear?' for the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." 

Matthew 6: 31-33

     Here's where it's tempting to say that we are no different than them, we just live in a different country. But, in reality, there is a huge difference! If we don't feel safe we buy an alarm system, carry a gun, call the police. If we have unmet needs we take out a loan and meet those needs....wait a minute....we have unmet needs? In my case, and in the case of most of the people that I know, I have absolutely everything I need, even at the end of the month when funds are diminished and the pantry is not full (I'd love to say empty, but I'm ashamed to admit it always has more in it than most of the people's around the world). I'm so careless with my use of 'need.' I need new clothes, I need a better car, I need that new phone, I need a tortilla press (random I know). But really those are just wants, and pathetic wants at that. I don't need anything, which hurts my dependence on God. Back to the original point, if we feel emotionally alone or upset we have friends, TV shows (warning...not a good source), doctors, medicine. If we want success we just take another class, work extra hours, etc. In our culture we have so many distractions that it's hard for us to truly and wholly depend on God without really meditating on Him daily and actively living differently. And when we are living in God's provision it looks weird to the world around us. *Principle to live by: If you look normal to the world and fit in just fine, then you probably aren't sold out to Christ like you should be. We're made to look different than the world.

      Recently some people from our church went to visit the missionaries in Indonesia. When they got back they talked about how blessed they were to be able to go visit, and how they want to go back. What a blessing. And again, I'm jealous. Jealous in the sense that I want to go somewhere and see what the world is really like, and what Christians who are risking their lives for their beliefs are like. I've never spoken to anyone who's gone on a mission trip that didn't feel more blessed by the experience than those they ministered to. When we are doing God's work, we feel the spiritual reward. And I want that rush...the rush of doing and being where God's purposes are the primary concern.

 "And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?"

 Luke 9:23-25

     In addition to these friends traveling to Indonesia, there have recently been a few families that have decided to give their lives for the purposes of God in radical ways. One family is joining a medical floating hospital ship in order to use their skills to minister to people in Africa, both physically and spiritually. Another has decided to adopt from Honduras in order to show God's grace to an orphan. And another family is pursuing full-time ministry and is dedicating the next year in training. All three of these families have undertaken major life changes, financial burdens and Kingdom thinking for their future. Once again I find myself jealous. Jealous of that leap, that whole-hearted, caution to the wind, living for the next life instead of this one kind of attitude. Jealous that they are doing exactly what the Bible says to do.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

     So what do I do with my jealousy? I think instead of sitting around brooding about wishing I was on a mission trip, or wishing it was time to adopt, I need to look around me at the local opportunities to pour out myself in love for those around me. This fall I plan to make a habit of serving and volunteering in my community. I'm also going to keep working in my personal mission field...my family. I have two little boys that I want to grow up with the attitudes and goals I've described above and it's my job to influence them to live like Christ. But don't worry, I'm not giving up on big changes. One day I pray that God will allow me to join a mission trip around the world. And with God's guidance and grace, maybe we can change the life of an orphan too and show God's grace by giving him/her a family one day.
     For now though I'm going to focus on knowing Him, the only one who counts and the only one who can change my jealousy to contentment...while serving Him in everything I do. And I'll probably read Radical one more time...what an inspiration to live the Biblically radical life Christ calls us to. The more I study and get to know Him, the more I want to study and get to know Him. It's not a vicious circle, but a victorious circle. I pray that I never get off this ride with Christ!

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12

I have some pretty wonderful 'mission' work to do here at home. : ) 

"The kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:21