I'm In Love

  With Jesus. Yes, I love my husband and am so grateful for him, but ultimately I love Christ more. Thankfully too, because that is the correct order of things: God, husband, children, everyone else.

   I've been a believer since I was very young, and I can't remember a time when I didn't look on Jesus with fondness, affection and admiration. But I have to admit it wasn't with a passionate love. As time went on I developed into a 'good Christian girl' and was content with that for quite a while. I'm not saying I didn't pursue Jesus, I was just up and down when it came to my times with Jesus and growth in Him. At some times (usually after completing a Beth Moore study or hearing some great sermons) I was on a spiritual high, but at others I was reduced to prideful legalism, comparing myself to others instead of Christ. During this time my relationship became somewhat like an arranged marriage....you know you grow to love them by being around them, but the passion isn't there. It's not an all consuming love that makes you think of nothing but Him and makes you do silly things. It was a practical love that followed rules but didn't get too over the top, except during those times when I got a small glimpse of the true Prince He is.

   Lately though I've just fallen head over heels, madly in love with Christ. I can't explain it. I'm not at all saying I haven't known Jesus as my savior during all of those years, but I just had never experienced the true passion for Him that I am now; I'm at another level. I just can't get enough of Him, I cry at every song and sermon I hear, and I just feel like I'm going to burst from the love I feel for Him. I feel a little silly writing this, but it's love and when you're in love you can't help but talk about it, right?

    Last fall I began praying for a deeper love of Jesus. I'd heard all of the stories, knew the miracles, read the parables, and it had all become a little stale to me. I wanted fresh insight, eyes opened wider, deeper understanding. As I continued to pray for this, God began really working on me. Last Christmas it seemed that I had a fresh perspective on the birth of Christ. Amazing love to leave angels and heaven to come save ME...and I just couldn't get over the fragile way He came to the earth. I blamed all the crying on the pregnancy, but I'm still becoming a weeper, so I guess that excuse is out. Next, I did the Disciple John Beth Moore Bible study and it was amazing. Then I did the Jesus the One and Only study and it just sent me over the edge for Him. God has answered my prayer 100 fold and I'm so thankful for that. He's not stopped filling me with love for my Emmanuel (my favorite name for Him...God with us) and as the Christmas season begins, along with Advent, I'm ready to look at His birth with even more love and awe than before.

    I went to a women's fellowship event this summer with several ladies from church, and my mom. We were all to give a short devotional and as I tried to think of a topic the one that wouldn't leave my mind was Jesus. It all begins with Him. If we aren't in love with Him, then the rest of the commands, blessings, stories don't matter. We have to love Him and appreciate what He did. It turned into a little more than I anticipated, and when I shared it I cried most of the way through. (What a weirdo, I know!) Luckily there was another weeper or two there so I wasn't alone. When I finished, one of the ladies said "You really love Jesus," and I think that was the highest compliment anyone has ever given me. I only pray that everyone who I meet can see that.

      Anyway, because I felt so moved when I wrote the devotional, I wanted to share it with you in a Part 2 of this post. I pray that as you read the verses and thoughts you too will fall more and more in love with this Jesus that we are privileged to call ours, and like me you will long for the day when you see Him face to face (I have butterflies just thinking about it)