Today is one of those days when I just love being a mom, especially one that is blessed with the privilege to stay at home with my baby. I say today, but really it's been during that last month or two that this overwhelming feeling of gratefulness and joy about my position in life has come over me.
For the first year of Cooper's life I had to work full time as a teacher. Before he came along I loved my job, and even after he was born I enjoyed it when I let myself stop thinking about leaving him with someone else all day. As I prepared to quit this past May to stay home full time I was so excited but felt a twinge of sadness because I had enjoyed what I did and (on some days) felt that I was making a difference in the lives of some of those kiddos. Then summer came and I was busy staying busy. I wanted to prove to Dalton that I deserved to be home and didn't want him to think I was 'taking advantage' of the situation; this led to me constantly looking for projects and things to do here, while keeping an eye on Cooper.
Only this fall did I begin to really realize that my purpose for being home isn't to stay busy, but to be a good Mom and wife. This doesn't mean I have projects to do all of the time, rather it means that I am working to raise obedient, God-fearing and loving children, and doing all that I can to support and love my husband. As I've come to this realization I've started to enjoy my 'job' more and more! I spend less time worrying about doing 'stuff' and more time playing in the floor with Cooper, or taking walks in the pasture with him just to kill some time on a pretty day.
I started to take my mom's advice too, advice that she gave me back in the summer when I was fretting about not having enough to do and accomplish. She said, "Gabby, is the house clean, Cooper taken care of, supper ready, and you in a good mood when Dalton gets home? If the answer is yes then you are doing your job." This advice is so good...especially when I think about Dalton working all day and coming home to relax and prepare for the next day. If I'm all huffy about something or needy for him to help with my responsibilities, or the house is a mess then it isn't a relaxing environment. But if I work to make it pleasant and comfortable for him then I am doing my job.
This brings me back to my opening line. I so LOVE being a mom!! I love getting Cooper out of his crib when he wakes up, and helping him remove all of his pillows, friends and blankets (which he insists we do before he gets out). I love the routine that Cooper and I are in and the "magic of ordinary days." I love getting the opportunity to go to the park in the middle of a weekday and watch him play; and it's a special bonus when there are other moms I know to visit with and other kids for Cooper to play with. I love being there when he discovers new things and learns new words and 'tricks' (for lack of a better word). I even love the crazy times in stores or restaurants when we're just trying to make it out all in one piece. I love that we get to sit on the front porch after his nap and wait on Daddy to come home, and when Cooper sees his truck he gets so excited and says "Dada!!" over and over. I love making dinner with Cooper imitating me on the kitchen floor with his spoon and bowl. And now I love that I get to experience all of this again with our 2nd little boy, and I'll get to enjoy all the lovable moments that I missed with Cooper while I was working.
If there's not a saying already there should be a saying about not knowing what you are missing until you get to experience it, with regard to motherhood! It was easy to make myself feel ok about working as a mother, but after being home I know that I was missing out on so much, and Cooper was missing out too. This is the best job any woman could ask for and my prayer is that more get the opportunity to be a 'full time' mom. I think about working now and it just seems so alien to me to have another full time job besides being Cooper's mom.
Bottom line, I'm so thankful and grateful that God has allowed me to be entrusted with children and I pray that I will make Him proud. I'm also thankful for children because it shows me just how much God truly loves us and how crazy His love for us is, and I want to love Him more and more for it.
"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17
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